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blaine->the amazing 80's kid of your dreams
26 March 2010 @ 10:51 am
Should not be covered under health insurance for any sort of respiratory illness. thats bullshit.
 
 
blaine->the amazing 80's kid of your dreams
29 September 2009 @ 09:49 am
I suck at school. I should be there right now. Oh well. I'll go in for the test on thursday and ace it or fail it and that'll help me decide whether to withdraw or not. I'm the assistant manager at Namco now. I pull down $34,000 a year when my friends in and out of school can't get jobs. So I'm through with paying to learn useless information. I'll finish up at some point I guess. IDK. But when I get $34G with health benefits and two weeks paid vacation after a year... what can I complain about?


So In my neverending personal battle with my love life I have come to an understanding. There are 3 girls in my life that I could see myself pursuing a valid relationship with. There is only one that I want. There is only one I think about on a daily basis, one I would move mountains for a chance to be with. And she is the least likely to reciprocate my feelings.

Its not so bad I guess. At least she wants to be friends right? The hard part is when she talks like she feels as I do.. then goes cold and I don't hear from her for a week or two.

I haven't had sex in 5 months. And I don't want to. I have no desire to be with anyone other than this one person I'm totally enthralled with. I actually like this as at this time last year I had slept with way too many girls in 2008. 5 girls in 08. 1 girl in 09. I guess that's the way its going to continue.

No girl is as funny, sweet, intoxicating, and beautiful in my eyes. I wish you would either tell me yes, or tell me no its not going to happen.
 
 
blaine->the amazing 80's kid of your dreams
10 April 2009 @ 07:29 am
i just want to know one thing:

what makes me not good enough? what is this epic flaw i seem to have?

i really dont think i can fall for a girl and have her give me anymore than half of what i give her back. and it doesnt matter if i stay aloof, if i come straight out with it honestly, or lay it on thick. it is always the same. i an expendable and thats it. nobody really needs me in their lives. im just a nice distraction for a little while.

i feel like the only girls i end up falling for are the unattainable ones. the ones who talk a lot of game, but will always back out.

i NEED to move out of here. I NEED to move somewhere that no one knows me. somewhere that everyone i meet is on my own, not through someone ive already been aquainted with a while.

most importantly, i dont want to slip and let myself become the slut i was last year trying to validate myself that im not useless, that im not unwanted.

i just really wish someone would tell me what it is about me that people, namely girls, shy from.

too energetic? too emotional? too asshole? too sarcastic? not witty enough? or regardless to what im told countless times(most likely verifying the next part, ('doth protest too much')) i am just not good looking enough for someone to generate a valid interest.

there have only been three people i have known, who when im around or talking to, have made me feel utterly at peace, who made me feel right and at home. who felt to, forgive the cliche, complete me.

Rejected by all three. And i just wish i knew why.
 
 
blaine->the amazing 80's kid of your dreams
09 March 2009 @ 09:19 am
LONG TIME NO UPDATE.

heres the gist of whats going on.

-i quit namco and got a job at met life
-Long distance girl broke my heart
-school sucked
-another girl broke my heart.
-i got over my depression finally
-i hate stickam
-me and nicole are solid beefers now
-school isnt TOO bad i should be doing work instead of typing this though
-im all gaga over another long distance girl that i dont have a chance with and wouldnt be able to see for about a year anyway.
-im going to quit metlife and go back to namco. i think im better equipped to deal with the nonsense now and it was honestly a better working environment.
-i have a mohawk.

i think thats pretty much it
peace out!
 
 
Current Mood: calmcalm
 
 
blaine->the amazing 80's kid of your dreams
24 July 2008 @ 01:40 pm
just another reason to forget to wake up or breath in the morning.
 
 
 
blaine->the amazing 80's kid of your dreams
24 January 2008 @ 09:02 pm
how things change. sometimes really suddenly. i hate feeling like im not in control. ive realized there is about 3 people maybe that i trust implicitly.

ive been playing wow too much.

i cant wait till my ankle heals and i can skate again. i just want nice weather. crappy weather doesnt agree with me i never have any motivation.

i played guitar and sucked. i really need to lay off the computer and start playing again.

i wish there was more time to do everything i want. the days are too short, sleep is required for too long, and our lives are too short.


i met my dads g/f today. shes nice, he seems happy. im glad for him.


I'm not going to lie. I miss highschool. I miss being in love with cait even though I could never get her. I miss hanging out at rachael's. I miss her OLD house. I miss terry not being a fatass fucktard douchebag. I miss jodi+dan. i miss skating everyday, playing pool and videogames or the instruments when we got tired. it seems like life has slowed down but passed too quickly.

10th grade gym class will live on as the most favorite of all the classes i was ever in. both semesters.


tony's got a girl, im glad hes happy.
andrew doesnt have a girl, i hope he stops being a douchebag IRL soon.
i dont hang out with mike enough.
icant wait for brand new.


i guess ill play wow for a while
 
 
blaine->the amazing 80's kid of your dreams
02 October 2007 @ 11:42 pm
non-bitchy update coming your way. just thoughtful.


growing up...is this what it feels like? friends move away, people change...responsibilities loom...losing touch with people you thouht were forever and regaining it with those you thought you lost?

no one writes in livejournal anymore who im friends with besides tony and lah and ali. i remember when everyone updated to the world about what they were doin. some of us had 3 blogs on different sites or more. i reminiss on days passed by too much.

ken is a horrible store manager i hope hes fired.

falling for another girl. in another state. again. idk why it happens. shes pretty adorable though, and pretty awesome; so i dont really care.

hopefully getting a new car this week, that would be preferable.

my new laptop rules.

in the next week ill have spent $6500 in a months time...not a big fan of that but you need certain things in life.


*end transmission*
 
 
blaine->the amazing 80's kid of your dreams
18 June 2007 @ 07:38 am
what i need to do is man up and stop being a pussy. i am so awkward.

on another note; i had one of my weird dreams last night.

its been almost a year since Nicole. thats gone by sooo fucking fast and i still feel damaged from it. the dream i had included her, suzi, cathi, amanda, mary...basically all of my ex-g/fs randomly being at the same function and shit. i dont remember what happened but i remember the dream sucked.

I don't know what im doing. im almost 20. that sucks. I still feel 16.
 
 
blaine->the amazing 80's kid of your dreams
04 May 2007 @ 10:04 pm
NAMCO is a shitty ass company. im legitimately starting to hate it there; for a number of reasons. i know you dont care about them so im not going to list them.

i cant deal with the heat whilst having long hair. i just cant take it. so im probably cutting it off. especially since im going to start working out and shit and ill be hot and sweaty all the time. perhaps ill get a mohawk? i think i want to. and ill dye it purple just for good measure.
of course the CFO of my job is "concerned" about my having a ponytail...even though i have the most sales out of anyone in that goddamn store. and i did all of them with my brow ring in too. its 2007 in upstate new york. no one fucking cares. so idk how hed react to a purple hawk. hes just jealous cuz hes balding.

if you didnt know: im building a wrestling ring in my backyard. i hope to have it fully functional by september. im psyched.

i hate being stressed. it has no place in life and idk why i feel it. stress is pointless.
 
 
blaine->the amazing 80's kid of your dreams
28 April 2007 @ 08:18 am
why the hell is everyone looking for love. and why is everyone saying theyre in love with yada yada. i dont get it. ive been there, ive said it, i admit. but honestly its so fucking stupid. all these kids not even 20 yet saying they are in love with eachother and theyll be together forever. fuck you. you dont know that. and i dont understand why a girl wants to hear that. im sorry, i cant do it anymore.

you know what i want. to finaly have a girl i find attractive in all her qualities, to actually find me attractive in my qualities and to say "hey, lets see eachother exclusively." from there we go out to eat, play mini golf, go on adventures, every once in a while talk late on the phone, perhaps maybe sleep over once in a while. throw in a few romantic sentiments in here and there... then maybe after a couple years of that say...hey..what we have is special between us. i think i love you. is that wrong? is it wrong to think that this concept of love from knowing someone for a month is fucking stupid? or people who say theyre in love but are actually on the lookout for someone else but stay with this person for convienience or sex; furthering to cheapen the term.


sidenote: why can i never crush on someone who is single or likes me back. lame.